Nite Riddin' Part II

I planned on doing an hour and half of riding this morning and didn't want to take the usual trip down McArthur Blvd, so I changed venue to the Rock Creek Park. Normally I leave the park for weekend rides or on the way back in, but this morning I thought I'd be adventurous.

I've been riding in the early morning hours for about a year or so but never have I been in such a dark place before. The park is in a ravine with cliffs on either side of it. It's like the countryside except it's in the middle of DC. It was just an area of the city where they couldn't build houses because the terrain was too steep so they turned it into a twisty and turning road that is closed to traffic some days of the week.

The natural lay of the land and the tall trees block out most of the light coming from the city, so it's pitch black most evenings. This morning was no exception. Even my helmet-mounted little lights were no match to the darkness. I'm sure it didn't hurt that I have taken to wearing orange tinted glasses for these rides. I tried going without sunglasses but ended up getting little pieces of junk in my eyes quite often that were annoying so I adopted the orange glasses.

It was an amazing ride, through this darkness. I'm looking back on it as if it was a dream. I might not have been too awake at the time so it could have been one. I'm looking for to the end of daylight savings time now and the reemergence of the sun for my rides. I typically ride for about an hour before sunrise. I'd like to get that changed so that I can go without the helmet light for a little while. Plus, it's darn cold at that time with the sun.

Curious thought of the day: Do we speak truth to power more often than power speaks to truth?

No I don't Want to Ride With YOU

This is my view on the order of priority of those people allowed on the roadways, each category has a quota and only if the category does not use it's quota would the next group have a chance to put some people on to the roads:

1. cyclists
2. pedestrians
3. buses drinking hardworking people to and from work
4. rollerbladers
5. people driving to and from work
6. everyone else except for soccer moms
7. buses in general
8. soccer moms
9. trucks
10. cabbies

The last group should never be allowed to be on the roadways unless its late at night and people need to get home from bars in my neighborhood then they'll magically appear and take you home. Otherwise, they are not allowed.

Travel Bug

The last few days have been an interesting mix of interesting. What does that mean? I have no idea but sounded good in my head. I walked home from the metro a different way today, through the little dog park by my house. However, that's not what I was referring to. They (the powers that be) warned me that my section of the Dept of Justice travels more than any other section. . . I didn't believe them but now I know it's going to be true. My world tour for the next month is as follows:

Nov 8-11: Honolulu, HI
Nov 15-16: Troy, NY
Thanksgiving: Mom and Dad are coming here
Nov 27-28: Miami, FL
Dec. 4-8: Columbia, SC

Not bad for the frequent flyer miles huh? I'm thinking if I rack up enough of them I'll go some place warm and sunny. Maybe Detriot, MI. Ok, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, which right now are St. Louis Cardinal's Fans.

A new book of music arrived this week. I picked up a copy of sheet music for Dierks Bentley's CD "Modern Day Drifter." I'm going to figure out this thing one way or the other. It's one of those guitar/piano/vocal books, so the guitar chords are written small and above the vocal's treble, or at least that's what I think, tell me if I'm wrong Papa Smurf. I think I can actually play a few bar chords, look at me with the F and Dsus chords going on now. The tips of my fingers are numb from playing so I'll take a break from the excitement.

Wow how random are these thoughts.

In Defense of Byram

Having lived for a year in one of the most treasured spots of the South, I must rush to its defense. When I told my parents that I was going to move into an apartment in Byram, MS they were at first confused. Largely because the entire community was the size of my dormitory at KU and secondly because no one in my family had ever heard of it before. I think the latter is a result of the former but that's neither here nor there. After visiting Byram, my Mom remarked..."well atleast it's not Pearl."

After living in the metropolis of Byram, the bourgeoning burg if you may, I grew to love it. Everyone talks about Madison and Ridgeland and Brandon but no one gives Byram the credit its due. Therefore, as of today I am beginning the campaign to get Byram listed as one of the top ten towns in the United States. That's right, you better watch out Naperville...Byram is coming after you.

Growing up in the aforementioned Naperville, IL (currently the number two place to live in the US) I know a thing or two about what makes a city a great place to live. First things first, Byram needs to make a few modest improvments. I'd say start with turning the Jackson Dragway into the Byram Motor Speedway and hold a NASCar race there once a season would get Byram on the map. Second, someone has to bulldoze the trailers by the Pearl River in order to make way for the San Antonio-style (or Naperville-style if you may) Riverwalk complete with 5-star hotels and restuarants.

All these capital improvements will undoubtedly bring in big business, but Byram needs to stay close to its roots--the small town culture and easy lifestyle that makes it Mississippi's diamond in the rough. After the new ivy-league level college is built on the bluffs overlooking Lake Dockery, there needs to be area retained for just green space. A place for families to go to on a Sunday afternoon and picnic or fly kites. That's why I propose leveling the town of Jackson and returning it to the rolling hills and meadows that it once was.

All these things for starters should help to realize my dream. The aforementioned was just slightly satirical.

Caught in the Endless Hell of the Voice Mail Jungle

Probably the most annoying aspect of the modern world is the automated call directory. You know the one I'm talking about, the press 1 for this, 2 for that and eventually you need to give up and just press zero repetitively. I tried this trick recently and to my horror the creators had found a way to confound me even further. They replaced the zero feature on their answering system with a repeat key. So each time I pressed zero it just repeated the bloody message. I pressed zero so many times that the system eventually hung up on me.

So there I was pissed with no one to yell at except for the answering system which I am apparantly unable to crack. Finally, I got someone on the line. I tried to explain to this fine example of failed education that I was a government attorney authorized to practice in his Court but that the filing system was not allowing me to do so. He was so confused by my answers that I am not in the system, no I'm not licensed in his State, but that I was really a lawyer and yes the United States Attorney General did deem it fit that I practice before his Court.

Alas, he passed me on to another person and a new system of voice messages. I left a message for a new and hopefully more intelligent human being but I doubt I'll ever hear from them regarding this and will eventually find myself right back in the same tangled web of messages and options. Technology was supposed to make life more efficient, but I see this example of technology just makes the people we actually talk to on the phone dumber.

We Could be Heroes

Two months after arriving in the nations capital city I have caught my breath long enough to realize that it's been two months. In two months I have deposed a stripper, taken a boat ride on the Hudson, interviewed a law enforcement officer overlooking a bay in the Keys and talked opposing counsel into dismissing my client from an action.

This is not to mention the countless federal tax dollars I have spent on tasks that I can no longer justify to even myself. However, I'm healthy, happy and all around in good spirits, despite the two-time failure of my furniture company to deliver a couch I ordered in August. However, you know what they say-- third time is the charm.

DC is how I remember it was, for the most part. A lot has changed but the White House is still in the same place and DuPont Circle is impossible to navigate in anything but by bike. I just filled my gas tank up for the first time in two months, which utterly depressed me. I love public transportation, where else in the world can you get to see the wonders of modern society but please don't forget to bring a book as your fellow travellers are not comfortable with you staring at them.

My neighborhood is the greatest place in the world. There is so much life, color, noise, music etc... I never imagined such a vibrant place. I want to take it all in all the time, but sadly I have to go to work sometime. DC is home.

Nashville Star 2

I told you all that I was serious, now I can prove it:

Thanks to Papa Smurf's instructions (thank you by the way) I've been picking up my ability to play a little bit at a time. I'm thinking of picking up a new book of music that has some easy melodies. I've gone through the first set of callouses on my fingertips and I think things are getting better.

The best I've gotten so far was a compliment from my Mom who said "that sounds good . . . and I'm not saying that just because I'm your mother." Oh and it's only been in the 70s in Chicago. I went out on the town on Friday night and got a little crazy. I had two drinks before leaving so I was already socially inappropriate when I met my cousin's college friends. It only got worse from there.

Nashville Star

I was really serious when I said I wanted to become a country star. So I went out and bought an accoustic guitar. I've learned a bunch of chords, but can someone please tell me how to work the whoel tablature thing.

Jury Duty

So I was compelled to perform my civic duty today. I showed up at 9:45 and sat around till the late afternoon. There were three trials set for the day. All of them arrived at a settlement sometime after lunch. So a 180 jurors sat around for a full work day reading books, magazines and taking short naps. I wish there was a better way to do this, but I cannot offer a single suggestion.

I took a book from home to read today, "I owe Russia $1200" by Bob Hope. It was a book from my grandmother's library and it was an interesting read. I think it was written sometime in the late 60s and its view of the world was markedly different. In particular there was this section about Korea. It described South Korea as barely subsistant and agricultural. It described poverty and bleakness. Then it described the industrial north. Absolutely amazing how things have changed.

My Stay is Over

I finally did it. I picked up and left Mississippi. I've taken a tremendously roundabout route but I'm back home in Chicago for much needed r&r and to restart my training schedule. We loaded up a u-haul with all my worldly possession and just set out east bound on I-40. Driving that u-haul had to be the most difficult and stressful drive of my life. I'm used to my little car that can weave in-and-out of traffic and is easy to manuever all over big cities, but not this truck. Driving it anywhere, but flat open road was tricky.

I'm now a homeowner as well. I signed my life away. I felt like a kid on his birthday. Everyone was just watching me open up my new present. However, this time I had to pay for my gift. It's strange, all I'm interested in doing right now is fixing the place up. I've found myself looking at different types of wood, paint, furniture etc... I went to an Ikea and I thought to myself that it's the adult version of Toys r' Us. I cannot wait to go to Home Depot and Loews. I've have all sorts of little projects in mind including re-doing the bathroom, adding closet and storage space and woodworking. I've crossed the line and don't know how to get back.

It's r&r time for me.

My Webster's Submissions

As the Cincinnati Kid has often said, I am a wordsmith. A recent hobby of mine has been to create obscure new words and phrases. I figure that if Shakespeare could basically craft the modern English language, than all of us lesser muses can at least take a stab at coming up with one or two new words. So the following are my submissions to the folks at Webster's Dictionary.

deadlinery: the act of using nit-picky reasoning and rationale to defeat or distract from otherwise meritorious statements or arguments.

saganize: taken from the author and scientist Carl Sagan. This is the act of taking extremely complicated and confusing ideas, subject matter or arguments and boiling them down into easily conveyable and understandable counterparts (something which Carl Sagan was a genius at doing).

soo: an emphasis word, something similar to the word "too", as in it's "soo cold."

Anyone else with some suggestions?

The Evolution of [my] Legal Thinking

It's nearly August and in the mind of most American cyclist there are two things-- the national crit championships and where should I stay? For me it's super easy. I can stay with my folks and then ride the seven miles to the race. One of the ironies of life is that the national championships is held in Chicagoland, which is something I've very rarely taken advantage of. However, this year there is a problem. My job ends at the end of July and my new doesn't begin until September. That leaves me with a month where I am under insured.

In the past that might not have been a problem, but looking back at this cycling season and my inability to keep the rubber side down I have to pause. I thought about it for a little while and came up with a decision not to race. This stands contrary to my normal attitude and therefore a small chart is necessary to explain the evolution of my thought processes:

Picture this: me standing over a pit of ravenous wolves ready to tear the flesh off of anything (kind of like a bad crit).

Undergrad Version of Me: (ignorance is bliss)
"Damn this will suck"
*dives into the pit and emerges miraculously unharmed*


2nd Year Law Student Version of Me: (knowledge is power)
"This'll hurt, but I'll sue the hell out of someone for it later"
*dives into the pit and is mauled viscously. my health insurance denies coverage sends a collection agency against me but my parents eventually bail me out*

1st Year Attorney Version of Me: (reality bites)
"I'll probably win at trial and get reversed on appeal. Then I'll end up having no money and owing attorney's fees on top of it."
*breaks out a folding chair and something domestic lite and cold and waits till next year"

The Cincinnati Kid Strikes Again

In the latest addition of what to do when you should be doing something else. The following was sent to me by the Cincinnati Kid (you'll need to get the song/rhythm in your head--the chorus is in italics):

Bud light presents…Real men of genius……real meeen of genius
Today we salute you Mr. I use big words to prove I’m better than you……. Mr. I use big words to prove I’m beeeetter than you
Your a listless bard, and a god among men…………………oh so bardish
You’re a soul mechanic, a heart surgeon if you will….and language is your tool………..fix me up baby
If there is one thing the reader knows from reading your work, its that you’re a better human than they are……juuust a poor farm boy
Commas…please…you’ll use them whenever you damn well feel like it……………………no such thing as too many
Rule of grammar and punctuation…ha…you wrote the book on it..and now your changing it…………….I do what I waaaant
And even if others don’t agree, you know you’re the best…and that makes you a real man of genius………the cuuuubs suck

Anheuser Busch, St Louis, MI.
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I feel like my life is more complete now.

The Open Road

It calls me sometimes like a phantom voice in my head. The open road is my long lost savior. When the world closes in on me and everything seems bleak, she is there ready, willing and accepting of me. I really think that I find true peace only on miles of empty blacktop.

It's been hard on me these last couple of weeks, being restricted as I have been. It's a Saturday today and I only put in in 2 1/2 hours. A month ago it would be at least 4 hours and maybe longer if the weather wasn't horrible. I keep telling myself to pace myself, let all the injuries heal before you push yourself again, but honestly it's really hard to limit myself like that.

I sometimes daydream about riding the big mountains of the blue ridge. As I drove through south west Virginia a couple of weeks ago I almost screamed because their they stood in all their might, just waiting for me to conquer them. I'll be there next year, and those mountains will meet their maker. I've come to conquer you, that's what I say every time I'm about to race a moutain race. Finally, I can back that statement up.

I'll miss the open Mississippi road. My house in Rural is only a mile and half away from nowhere. And nowhere is my favorite place to be on a bike. In nowhere there are no people and no people means no cars. It's just me, the blacktop and a steady cadence. I finally started bucking up again and tossing it into the big ring--KU style. I had been little ringing it for the last couple of months in an effort to help my legs recover from all the races.

I just burned out hard this year. It comes with the territory and also the geography. It's just too damn hard to race in Mississippi. Everything requires driving and lots of it. There were only two races this year in Jackson and both of them were more than 30 minutes from my house. In the future, one half of my races will be within riding distance. It makes things easier.

So the open road calls me again. Dusty roads weren't made for walking and spinning wheels weren't made for stopping. Miranda Lambert, she's got a point.

My Adoring Fans

It's a well known fact that "when I grow up" I want to be one of two things-- a country music star or a NAScar driver. Well, I think I've finally hit my mark and it's time for me to pack the bags up and head for Nashville. So ready or not CMT here I come.

The city of Rural has been hiding a dark secret from me. Apparently on Mondays at the local watering hole it's karaoke night. That simple fact has saved this burg from being labeled absolutely hopeless for me. Finally I have a forum to take my skill and talent and show it to the public.

I love country music and I love singing country music. Sadly, up until now the only person who got to witness my talents was the unlucky soul stuck in the car with me when my favorite Garth Brooks song came on. Not any more. Now I've got a whole bar filled with people that I may impress with my singing prowess.

It took me a couple of rounds, but I finally worked up the courage to pick up the book of songs and search for my newest favorite country music song-- "Still got a lot of Leaving Left to do" by Dierks Bentley. I admit, my admiration of his music is done only grudgingly. However, my distaste for my admiration is only do to the fact that he looks like the tool of a roommate I once had. His tunes are catchy and sometimes I just cannot help but sing along.

So I get up there and the music starts. It's really awkward the first time you sing without the accompanying rhythm and tone of the actual singer. It took me a few minutes to actually get comfortable hearing my own voice. However, once I surrendered to the wind, I realized that I could in fact fly. Then all-of-a-sudden it became fun. People were watching and listening to me sing. Some fools were even singing along with me. It was a rush that I don't often feel.

The rush was only made better when my wonderful friends continued to fill my head with praise for how good I was. Thank you so much for lying to me...it's one of the few times I really enjoyed being lied to. I guess I know what Grandpa Smurf (one of my Scandalous co-workers) must feel when he gets up there to sing a song or two. So now it's time to pack up the bags and go. I'll just stop in DC for a year or two to hone my skills. Next, it's on to fulfilling that NAScar dream of mine.

4th of July

Finally the injuries that I suffered at the Giro have started to heal. It was nearly two weeks off the bike, but I've finally started riding again. I'm pretty sure that racing is kind of out of the picture for the next month or two. I'm setting my sights on next season's early races. It's a little weird to be winding down in July, but there are so many things that need to get done this month.

Rollin' down ol 95

My first rule of road trip travel and for cycling training routes for that matter, is never come back the same way you went out. Life and cycling ain't about the out-and-back. So I cruised up to DC on I-81 through TN and VA and I'm going back on I-95 bound for the AtL. As C-Dog, has so often said, you can't break the rules if your the one making them.

It's too early to claim victory in DC, but things went well. The Queen of Cap Hill and I hit up my favorite bar that I have never been to before last night in DuPont Circle right across from the monument to Taras Shevchenko. They claim to have beer from everywhere in the world, but ironically not from the home country of the man whose monument stands right in front of it--Ukraine.

Despite the fact that I couldn't throw down any Obolone and they were out of my Russian standard, Baltica, they had this amazing Ethiopian beer. Also, there was a French beer that had a wine like texture to it which went down smooth. Much scorn I have for the person who walks into this bar and orders something domestic, light and cold . . . unless it's obscure.

Quick lesson learned this week-- you can buy a closet in DC for the same price as a plantation home in Mississippi. Even quicker lesson-- I'm home.

Tilfords got Mad Game

Mad props to Tilford for the Kansas-style win at Nature Valley:

http://www.velonews.com/race/dom/articles/10038.0.html

Leave it to a Kansan to attack through the corner in a race that's soo nasty that they need to cut it short.

A BBQ with Ivy League Law Students

My bar review buddy and I strolled up to M & Wisconsin last night to meet an old friend of his for a BBQ. I come to find out that the other people at the BBQ, including the old friend, all attend a pretigous Ivy League law school and were down for the summer working for huge law firms. This, of course, I see is my perfect chance to see how socially unadjusted they all were. Bar review buddy and I walk in and introduce ourselves and within 30 seconds they had fallen into my well rehearsed trap. Amazingly, I did it all without pulling out my best southern accent.

$30k per year in law school tuition obviously doesn't do much for you. The first guy I came into contact informed me that he had spent a couple of days the previous year touring Natchez and Vicksburg. Das is ne perfekt!!! We chatted for a moment about what he saw and where he went. Then he hits me with the concern that was on his mind...slavery. I love to talk about a 150 year-old dead economic system, especially to people who know next to nothing about history, like this fella. After touring some of the "plantation homes" in Natchez he was shown the old registers and books which listed the value of the slaves kept, names, etc...

He was appauled by this, he couldn't articulate his emotions very well (that skill must be in the extra ivy league law school package which is $5k more a year) but the jist was that Southerns need to be more apologetic for slavery and the exploitation that went along with slavery. Polite was my first response. My second response was factual and explanatory about the historically accurate relationship that was common between master and slave. Third was my theoretical response where I asked him to move beyond the idea that it was ownership of another human being. Having not satisfied his desires by this point in time and despite my best socratic method, having failed to draw out his real concern, I moved to the final approach--abject apathy. The conversation ended something like this.

ivy leaguer: "I just don't understand, I expected a greater degree of sympathy and awareness from the tour guides showing us the records."

me: "Most people that I know in the South have dealt with this issue for their whole lives and for the lives of their parents. I think largely they have made their peace with it and have decided that it would be better to move on and move forward in life. Also, it is kind of foolish to continue to blame the current generations for the actions of those who lived 150 years ago, but if it makes you feel good you can continue to blame them for it...I'm sure they won't care that much anyway about your obviously learned opinion."

Afterwards I walked over openned another beer and proceeded to find the undercooked burgers.

The one thing that disgusts me more than stupidity and ignorance, is when morality is thrust into the middle of it and then used to espouse a way of life. While, not being from the South as a result of birth, I am still patriotic of my law school home and defensive when someone attacks it without having the first inclination of the historical facts which they are challenging. When I was in school in Ukraine my professor told us this great truism. He was filled with these truisms and it was like manna from heaven every time he gave us one-

A man can spend a week in a place whose culture and society is foreign to him and after that week he gets the desire to write an article about the place. The same man can spend a month in the same place and after that he'll get the desire to write a book detailing his travels and the oddities that he faces. It isn't until after that man spends a lifetime in that place that he realizes that all his previous efforts were foolish and fruitless and there is no way that he can encapsulate what he has experienced for those who will never experience it.

After leaving that BBQ, bar review buddy turned to me and said (obviously saracastically) "those ivy leaguers know how to party." Had this been Arizona State (his institute of higher learning) we would be doing keg stands and diving into the local swimming pools. I looked at him and responded, had it been Ole Miss we'd all be whiskey drunk screaming off the balconys on the Square at passers-by. I guess class is something regional after all.

On a personal note, I realize now why Georgetown looks different at night compared to other cities in this country--the street lights. They don't use the same orange sulfur lights but rather something else. It's really strange, but definitely makes things look nicer.

DC World Tour

I guess that really is a totally incorrect statement and Scanlon will call me on it. I'll walk into work next week and Scanlon come up to me and say, "how can it be a world tour if it's just one city?" Ok, so it's just a trip up to DC and that's it.

I spent the last two days driving through some of the prettiest country I've seen in a long time and have arrived here along the shores of the Potomac ready to begin my search for a new home. Come this Fall, I'll be the newest member of the Federal Govt's growing attorney roster and thought that it was about time to find me a place to live. I'd been pushing off the hunt as long as I could, but suddenly I caught Potomac fever and now here I am.

The trip was uneventful, which was a blessing. I'm still hampered by my sprained wrist which made driving and using the turn signal a little more difficult than it should have been. I spent the night in Bristol, TN. The area was just gorgeous. I'd had a great chat with some random folk at the local watering hole where I put down the biggest and tallest cold one I've seen in a long time.

Random folk are great to meet. You don't have to worry about what you say to them because you'll never see them again. You don't and they don't put on an aire of superiority because what the heck do you have to prove. It's definitely better than the typical bar association happy hour...I mean at least with random folk you don't have to pretend like your interested in their insurance defense case work.

I'm excited about my soon-to-be new home and my new professional life. I cannot wait for my first Cosi chat with the queen of Cap Hill, or the impending questions from my high school buddy about joining the volunteer fire fighters in Falls Church. So tomorrow morning the hunt begins in full.